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Jakab's Bachelor Party
Saturday 21 October 2006

Jakab Norton, champion spider killer extraordinaire, is finding himself taking on newer, even more dangerous responsibilities. He's gettin' married! With a wedding date set for Halloween he and Alexis will probably miss trick-or-treating, which is kind of a bummer.

On 22 October Jakab had his bachelor party. We started out at Big Boy where I think the group got kicked out for being a mite too rambunctious. After dinner we went to Jakab and Alexis' apartment for a spell before going out bowling. Then it was back to the apartment for the remainder of the evening.

Attendees: Jakab Norton, Dan Norton, Jim Norton, Ian Malcolm, Josh Gulch, DJ Foy, Adam Pickard, and Lawrence. Also Alexis Harris and Sara Foy but they weren't invited because it was supposed to be a guy thing.


You start out small on doors and orphans Jakab shows us how he's already warming up for marriage by punching a hole in the door.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
He's also moved on from being MacAfee's boozehound Our man Jakab has come a long way in the past decade. He's moved up in the world.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
But what the heck is Texas toast? Dan has a fixation on Big Boy's claim that they have the best tuna salad in the world. This remains untested.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
Big Boy also claims to have the best pumpkin pie anywhere If anybody appreciates pumpkin pie it's Mister Dan. It's like his thing.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
The Nortons require pie to live Appreciating pumpkin pie must run in the family because Jakab needed to have a fix as well.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
This won't actually go on MySpace though Josh took a MySpace picture in Big Boy's restroom once the other person who was in there left.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
I once tried to write a song about them called 'Merry Nortons We' Seriously, it's been ten years and I still can't see the resemblance.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
This makes them imperfect people Adam, Jim, and Lawrence were exiled to a separate table because they failed to meet the requirement of being either Jakab, Dan, Ian, or Josh.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
You gotta watch for it At least once each day Jakab will touch his face. This just happens to capture today's moment.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
Just not double entendre pants Adam has a penchant for double entendre t-shirts.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
Ian runs a farm designed for this very purpose Ian is thoughtful as he contemplates the best way to steal one of Jakab's ovaries.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
Jakab's only after his burger though Jakab sitting with the one true friend he has left in the world.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
Maybe you don't want to see this -- or maybe you've been waiting your whole life for it Jakab shows how hardcore he is by using the big boy's nose for leverage.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
These things are important, you know Yeah, so like Jakab spent the entire evening on the phone with his broker.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
Any other friends would have killed Jakab where he sat Lawrence and Adam relax on the couch while waiting for Jakab to get off the god danged telephone.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
That doesn't mean we let her vote on anything to do Alexis arrived, which threw the guys-only bachelor party into a slight spin, but that's okay because we're an equal opportunity partying lot.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
We were contractually obliged by the State of Ohio to wait This is the exact moment that DJ entered the room and the party was able to get going.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
So much for Jakab's political career See? What did I tell you? This is a bachelor party, after all. Somebody's bound to be topless at some point.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
He's got moxie up the wazoo DJ decided to bowl in his socks because that's the sort of guy he is. This resulted in an odd moment where a momentary loss of moxie caused him to slip.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
He's worn finger divits into his chin What would this album be without the requisite Dan Norton pensive pose?

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
VIDEO FILE - Click to view DJ does a brief victory dance at the end of a good turn.

VIDEO FILE

Click to view
Running time: 4 seconds
File size: 670 kb

Video Credit Josh Gulch
It was the wild summer of 1987 when anything went Jakab and DJ once shared an apartment together in Copenhagen. Each morning they would alternate who bought a loaf of bread at the baker down the street.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
'Cause after the 31st he won't have that privilege Jakab bowls none to shabby. Surprisingly, nobody deliberately lost in order to let Jakab win for the last time in his life.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
VIDEO FILE - Click to view DJ said that he would dance if he managed to roll a strike. Well, here's the dance!

VIDEO FILE

Click to view
Running time: 6 seconds
File size: 994 kb

Video Credit Josh Gulch
But far less necessary Josh's self portrait, almost as prevalent as Dan touching his chin.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
Though the jury is still out on whether he's warm or cold blooded. DJ stalks around, his tyrannosaur heritage coming through.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
I think a lesson has been learned through all this Because Jakab and Alexis complained that their mission patch resembled a football before it was redesigned, Dan bought them a cake in the shape of one.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
His also has more time-traveling dinosaur astronauts There is a key difference between how DJ lives his life and how you live yours: he makes it look good.

Photo Credit Josh Gulch
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Engaged 23 October 2006 | Updated 23 October 2006